


First Contact

by DanjaBlue



Category: Star Trek: Lower Decks (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bureaucracy, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25771354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanjaBlue/pseuds/DanjaBlue
Summary: The U.S.S. Cerritos has made a first contact -- and Starfleet is not pleased.  R&R
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	First Contact

**Author's Note:**

> A/N:
> 
> REXPLORCOM = Research and Exploration Command  
> BETACOM = Beta Command  
> 

“We have a situation, Admiral,” said Captain Morrison over the transceiver. “The U.S.S. Cerritos has made a first contact.”

“Where?” Admiral Hancock asked. He was in charge of Starfleet's Fleet Support Command. He was balding, stout, and in his mid-sixties.

“Balderius, Sir,” said Captain Morrison. He was Admiral Hancock's assistant. “In the Beta Quadrant.”

"How long ago was this?" Admiral Hancock asked.

"Three days ago, Sir."

Admiral Hancock sighed and held his head in his hands. “No, no, no, _NO!"_ He moaned. He then asked, “Where's Enterprise?”

“She's in the Gamma Quadrant, Sir. At Deep Space Five,” Captain Morrison replied.

“Get Enterprise to Balderius, on the double!” Admiral Hancock roared. “Tell them we have a first contact situation!”

“Sir … Wouldn't Enterprise be Balderius's _SECOND CONTACT?_ ” Captain Morrison asked.

“Cerritos is a _SECOND CONTACT_ vessel,” Admiral Hancock explained. “We can't have second contact vessels making _FIRST_ contacts!

“What are the Balderians supposed to think? That the Federation is comprised of repair technicians and garbage haulers?

“They're _NOT_ our best people!

“Has REXPLORCOM been notified of this?” Admiral Hancock asked.

“Not yet, Sir,” Captain Morrison replied.

“What about BETACOM?”

“Not yet, Sir,” Captain Morrison replied. “I'm still compiling a report from Cerritos's notes.”

“I want that report sent to the heads of REXPLORCOM and BETACOM, Admiral-In-Charge's eyes only,” said Admiral Hancock. “Also, I want it sent to Captain Picard, classified for his eyes only.”

“Yes, Admiral.”

“I want the date of Enterprise's first contact back-dated to the date of Cerrito's first contact with Balderius.”

“Won't that strike Cerritos's first contact from the record?” Captain Morrison asked.

“What's the alternative? Having it on record that Enterprise went in to clean up Cerritos's clusterfuck?”

“ _WHAT_ clusterfuck?” Captain Morrison asked. “Judging from Captain Freeman's report, everything went well. There doesn't appear to have been any negative interactions.”

“Cerritos is a _SECOND CONTACT_ vessel,” Admiral Hancock explained, repeating himself. “They're not _TRAINED_ for first contacts. They're not supposed to _DO_ first contacts.”

“Permission to speak freely,” said Captain Morrison.

“Permission granted.”

“Perhaps we _SHOULD_ be training them,” said Captain Morrison. “Ships like Enterprise and Titan can't be everywhere at once."

“It's … _unnatural_ ,” Admiral Hancock replied. “We can't have ships like Cerritos doing the work of ships like Enterprise and Titan.

“Ships like Cerritos are tasked with _CLEANING UP_ after ships like Titan and Enterprise. We can't have second contact ships making first contacts!”

“Yes, Admiral,” said Captain Morrison.


End file.
